


Three's a Crowd

by RandomnessUnlimited



Category: Kaeloo (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Child Abuse, Fantastic Racism, Gen, Jealousy, Kaeloo Has Self-Esteem Issues, Mr. Cat Has Self-Esteem Issues, Pre-Canon, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomnessUnlimited/pseuds/RandomnessUnlimited
Summary: Kaeloo and Mr. Cat have been each other's best - and only - friends for quite a while now, but issues arise when Kaeloo makes a new friend.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a collab between me and a friend who does not have AO3, but is on Instagram as @fsanalikesart. The story contains divergence from canon, and the characters may seem slightly OOC at times due to the circumstances they’re in and the time the fic is set in.
> 
> Mr. Cat met Kaeloo before moving to Smileyland, and the two of them lived in the world outside Smileyland and briefly visited it every day before they permanently moved in
> 
> Quack Quack had already hatched from his egg and lived alone in the “outside world” for years before meeting Kaeloo and Mr. Cat
> 
> We don’t have a canon estimate for when the others met Stumpy, but they haven’t met him yet in this fic
> 
> Mr. Cat still lives with his abusive family, unlike canon where he escaped from them a few years ago, so he suffers from self-esteem issues that are even more severe than the ones in canon
> 
> We took the “Mr. Cat has anxiety” theory and ran with it, the symptoms being further exacerbated by the Cat family’s abuse
> 
> The characters permanently move to Smileyland much later than they do in canon. In the fic, Kaeloo and Mr. Cat are slightly younger than their canon selves but not too much
> 
> The fic contains child abuse and fantastic racism, so if you are triggered by child abuse and/or racism, please do not read this.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cat, but you just make me so angry sometimes!” Kaeloo says, patting a bandage down on his leg as the cat lies on the couch. As usual, they’d ended up playing their little “game” where he pissed her off enough to make her beat him up. In some odd way, it was a bonding ritual for them in the way that other friends would bond over playing video games or discussing books together, though there were a few occasions where Kaeloo ended up feeling bad about it; Mr. Cat, for his part, honestly didn’t mind as long as it was warranted.

“Anyway, do you want to get ice cream? There’s a new ice cream parlor that opened up near my apartment!”

“Okay,” Mr. Cat shrugs, moving into a sitting position to get off the couch. Kaeloo summons a portal door to lead them straight to the ice cream parlor. The two of them head out the door, leaving Smileyland uninhabited save for a few sheep and sapient flowers, until the next day. They’ve come here almost every day after school to play games with each other since they met for the first time two years ago. Prior to their friendship, Kaeloo used to just check in for a few minutes each day to make sure nothing was wrong as part of her guardian duties, but now that she has a friend to spend time with, the two of them spend hours on end having fun together in Smileyland.

The ice cream parlor is a large building with cheery signs in bubbly font above the glass sliding doors. The interior is decorated with pastel pinks, blues and yellows. There are elaborate displays of balloons to celebrate the store’s grand opening, and the white tile floor is so spotless that the patrons can see their reflections in it.

_ This would never be possible on the west side of town _ , Mr. Cat thinks to himself.

The west side of town and the east side of town are so different that an outsider might not even be able to tell that they were parts of the same town. The east side is where the more affluent residents of the town live. This is the part of town where everyone lives in a cookie-cutter house with a neatly maintained garden. It’s where all the good restaurants, schools, parks, and other things are. This is where the low crime rates are. It’s also where Kaeloo lives. The bad side of town is… the exact opposite, to say the least.

Mr. Cat has learned a lot about this divide at the prestigious all-boys private school he goes to in the east side of town. While the school provides its students with an excellent education, it’s also a breeding ground for bullying. The other students are fully aware of certain details that Mr. Cat would have liked to keep to himself, such as the fact that he lives on the west side of town, the fact that he is only able to attend this particular school because of a merit scholarship, and the fact that his family is both abusive and neglectful to the point where they wouldn’t do anything to help him if he was bullied. However, even though his home life and school life are horrible, there is still one source of joy in his life: Kaeloo.

Kaeloo isn’t like the other people in his life. In fact, she’s the exact opposite. While the others are cold, harsh individuals who look down on him with cruel sneers, Kaeloo is gentle, warm, and kind, always ready to greet him with a loving smile on her face.

Unbeknownst to Mr. Cat, Kaeloo is just as grateful to have him in her life as he is to have her in his. A natural extrovert, Kaeloo has always wanted to have friends, but the kids at school, the park, or anywhere she goes, really, seem to dislike her for some reason. The few who do consider being her friends change their mind when they see… “her”. The other one. But not Mr. Cat - no matter what happens, he stays with her.

The line moves forward, and it’s their turn to order.

“I’ll have two scoops of strawberry ice cream with chocolate sauce, sprinkles, and a cherry on top!” she smiles at the man behind the counter.

“What about you, Mr. Cat?”

“I’ll have one scoop of vanilla,” he states plainly.

_ The cheapest thing on the menu _ , he thinks to himself.

“Are you sure that’s all you want?” Kaeloo asks, puzzled. Mr. Cat always tries to avoid talking to her about his life and only gives her vague details when asked questions about himself. The only thing she knows is that he lives with his parents and his two brothers, goes to one of the most prestigious schools in town, and that he lives on the west side of town. She doesn’t know anything about the abusive home environment, school bullying, and financial struggles that he goes through. Kaeloo has lived a rather sheltered life; even though her parents are away traveling, they leave her plenty of money to buy whatever she needs and pay rent for the apartment where she lives, and she doesn’t watch much of the news or pay attention to politics, so she knows next to nothing about how the world really is.

“Yeah, I think I’ll try something simpler to see if this place can do anything right,” he says in the most arrogant voice he can, hoping that she’ll buy his excuse. It works.

“Alright,” she shrugs.

The man behind the counter hands them each their respective ice creams, and Kaeloo grabs extra spoons just in case one of them drops theirs and needs a new one. They sit down at a small round table with two plastic chairs. Kaeloo uses one of her spoons to scoop out a huge chunk of ice cream with chocolate sauce and sprinkles drizzled liberally over it. She smiles in bliss as it literally melts in her mouth. She looks over at Mr. Cat and sees him hungrily eyeing her ice cream, even though he’s trying to be discreet about it.

“Would you like a taste of my ice cream, Mr. Cat?” she offers.

“Oh, uh, n-no, I wasn’t looking at your ice cream, I was just spacing out and I happened to be looking in your direction,” he says, crossing his arms. Kaeloo ignores him and places a spoonful of her ice cream in his mouth using one of the extra spoons she got. It’s the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted.

“This is actually… not that bad,” he admits. She feeds him another spoonful, and even though the taste is heavenly, he feels bad for depriving her of her ice cream. He decides to return the favor.

“This isn’t bad either,” he says, putting a spoon of vanilla in her mouth.

“It’s really yummy!”

Her eyes are practically sparkling. He tries to feed her another spoonful, but she’s so distracted that he ends up smearing it all over her face.

“Oops,” he says sheepishly, grabbing a napkin to wipe it off of her. He hopes she isn’t too mad.

“Mr. Cat -” Kaeloo says, and he instinctively holds his arms in front of himself in defense.

“It was just an accident!” he cries, closing his eyes tightly. The seat they chose was in a secluded corner of the ice cream parlor, so nobody really pays attention to them. Kaeloo feels a wave of self-loathing wash over her as she watches her best friend cower in fear of whatever he thinks she’s going to do to him.

She gently places a hand on his forearm and he tentatively opens one eye.

“I know it was an accident! I’m not going to hurt you! I just wanted to tell you that you had some ice cream on your chin,” she explains, and he slowly lowers his arms. She grabs a napkin and gently removes the ice cream from his face. Mr. Cat relaxes a little, his eyes no longer wide with terror. Kaeloo badly wants to ask him what’s wrong, but she knows that it will end like all the other times, with him desperately trying to change the subject. So she changes the subject herself, telling him about the new Princess Pony doll she bought yesterday and how excited she is to play with it. Unfortunately for Kaeloo, Mr. Cat is not a fan of Princess Pony, so he won’t play with her. Fortunately for Kaeloo, though, it does get the conversation to veer off-topic like she intended. They spend the rest of the evening chatting and laughing like nothing happened.


	2. Kaeloo's New Friend

Mr. Cat casts another glance at his watch - he has a smartphone, but he likes the aesthetic of wearing a watch - and looks back at the entrance. There’s still no sign of Kaeloo, so he continues to sit right where he is, in the food court of the most popular movie theater on the east side of town, watching raindrops slide down the window. As much as he would love to play a game on his phone to pass the time, he’s far too restless for that. His mind fills with anxious thoughts.

_ What if something bad happened to her? _

_ Did she forget about me? _

_ Did she finally get sick of me and decide to abandon me? _

As he begins to dwell on the last thought, he sees a familiar figure at the entrance.

“Mr. Cat!” Kaeloo’s voice rings out clearly among the banter of the other voices in the food court.

Mr. Cat does not respond to this, because he’s far too shocked by the person standing next to Kaeloo: a mallard duckling. Ducks and cats do not get along very well, mainly because the formers spent centuries oppressing, degrading, and taking advantage of the latters. Even though there have been many improvements since then, there are still signs of the conflict in day-to-life, some of them more subtle than others.

“This is my new friend, Quack Quack!”

Quack Quack extends a hand to him. Mr. Cat simply glares at him with the most hateful, vitriolic glare he can muster. He’s had some horrible experiences with ducks in the past, and he will not allow one of them to hurt him again.

“Don’t worry, Quack Quack, Mr. Cat is just shy around new people,” Kaeloo explains, oblivious to Mr. Cat’s true feelings.

“So how did you two meet?” he asks, looking specifically at Kaeloo and avoiding eye contact with Quack Quack.

“Well, Quack Quack was on his way to the theater, but since it’s raining outside and he didn’t have an umbrella, I offered to share my umbrella! I also invited Quack Quack to join us today, so we can all watch a movie together!”

Well, there went any hope that Mr. Cat had of enjoying his day.

“Quack Quack is simply amazing! He spends his weekends volunteering at charities and animal shelters, he’s won the state science fair for three years in a row, and he tells the funniest jokes!”

Mr. Cat has always wanted to win the state science fair, but the closest he’s ever come to winning is second place.

“So we’re getting three tickets for  _ Skeletons of the Lake 2: the Creepy Cannibal _ ?” he asks, to change the subject.

“Quack,” says the duck, looking somewhat hesitant.

“... What?” Mr. Cat stares in confusion.

“Quack Quack says horror movies are scary,” Kaeloo explains.

“Quack?”

“He says we can watch the new  _ Happy Bears _ movie instead!”

“But that movie’s for kids!” Mr. Cat protests. “And it’s my turn to pick the movie!”

“But Mr. Cat, I thought it would be nice if we let Quack Quack choose the movie today since it’s his first time joining us!”

“First time? What do you mean,  _ first  _ time?”

“Yes! Quack Quack seems like a really nice person and I thought we could all be friends!”

“Quack?”

_ Should I go buy the tickets? _

“You’re right, Quack Quack, we should buy the tickets! Oh, and Mr. Cat?”

Mr. Cat turns his head to look at her.

“If you don’t want to watch the  _ Happy Bears _ movie with us, you can go watch  _ Skeletons of the Lake 2: the Creepy Cannibal _ instead!”

To Kaeloo, this sounds like the perfect way to make sure that everyone gets what they want and is happy. To Mr. Cat, this sounds like Kaeloo is trying to get him out of the way so she can spend time with her brand new friend who is much better than him. Mr. Cat exaggeratedly rolls his eyes.

“Ugh, fine, we’ll watch the stupid bear movie.”

Kaeloo giggles; she’s pleasantly surprised that her best friend voluntarily chose to see something she likes with her. As they sit in the movie theater, Mr. Cat starts to wonder if he really made the right choice. If Kaeloo doesn’t want him there, then that means that he’s forcing her to put up with him, and she can’t be happy if that’s the case. Kaeloo glances at Mr. Cat to see how he’s enjoying the movie and notices that her friend looks upset. She offers him some of her popcorn, which he meekly accepts, grabbing a few pieces. They taste like cardboard in his mouth.

After the movie, the trio step out of the theater and start walking home. The rain has long since ended. Kaeloo and Quack Quack walk side by side, discussing the movie. Kaeloo glances over her shoulder to see Mr. Cat slowly trudging along with his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground with a gloomy expression. She turns around and runs back to him, grabbing his hand. And in that moment, Mr. Cat knows that no matter what happens, he will always have Kaeloo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seems like the end, but things are never that simple, are they?


	3. Hide and Seek

Mr. Cat sits idly on the couch in Smileyland, waiting for Kaeloo to show up. He wonders how he’ll explain the large bandage on his right arm to her. It was caused, of course, by an altercation with his oldest brother, but he can’t very well tell her the truth without admitting that he’s being abused at home.

Kaeloo walks into his field of view, and he raises a hand in greeting, but quickly lowers it when she sees that Quack Quack is standing right next to her.

_ What’s he doing here?! _ Mr. Cat thinks to himself.

_ Smileyland is supposed to be a special place just for me and Kaeloo. Why did she have to bring HIM here? _

“Hello, Mr. Cat!” Kaeloo waves at him.

“Uh, hi…” Mr. Cat says awkwardly.

“I thought Quack Quack would like to join us in our games from now on!”

“From now on?” he repeats weakly, as if the words were alien to him.

Why does Kaeloo want another person to play games with? Is he not good enough? Kaeloo has constantly been talking about how smart and talented Quack Quack is. Is that her way of subtly venting about how she wishes Mr. Cat was more like that?

“Yes! Quack Quack is such a nice person, and he’s a lot of fun to be around! He even agreed to play Princess Pony with me!”

Mr. Cat feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He can hear the unspoken words echoing in his head.

_ Quack Quack doesn’t spend his time annoying me and making me mad. Quack Quack likes the same things I do. I wish I could spend all my time with him instead of you. _

Mr. Cat has always been told by the people around him that he’s nothing but a disappointment, so he’s not surprised. It was only a matter of time before Kaeloo got sick of him anyway. She hasn’t even asked him about the bandage.

“And he has the greatest special ability!” Kaeloo announces, oblivious to her friend’s discomfort.

“He’s indestructible!”

“Huh?”

Quack Quack demonstrates by removing his head and sticking it back on as if nothing happened.

“Isn’t it amazing?” she asks, her eyes shining.

Mr. Cat simply stares at Quack Quack.

“What game are we playing today?” he asks, trying to change the subject.

“Quack!” Quack Quack suggests a game of hide and seek.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be great at it,” Mr. Cat smiles maliciously. After all, he’s recently started carrying a chainsaw around for self-defense purposes.

“Quack?”

_ “Really?” _

Quack Quack is pleasantly surprised to see Mr. Cat being nice to him, especially since he didn’t look too enthused to see him last time.

“Oh, I’m sure of it,” Mr. Cat growls menacingly before whipping out his chainsaw and slashing the duck to bits.

“Mr. Cat, what are you doing?!” Kaeloo shrieks once she’s recovered from the initial shock.

“I’m just helping duckface demonstrate how good he is at hide and seek!” he chuckles, kicking the pieces of Quack Quack under the sofa as hard as he can.

“Mr. Cat, stop that at once!” Kaeloo cries indignantly.

“Why?” Mr. Cat asks in a voice that’s so sweet it’s obvious he’s faking it.

“This is a great way to play hide and seek!” he explains, grinning from ear to ear.

Naturally, Kaeloo is only further angered by his behavior, and in mere seconds, she’s transformed.

“I SAID NO HURTING QUACK QUACK!” she roars, punching him. The feline is launched into the air and lands a few feet away on the ground.

“You should be ashamed of yourself, hurting poor Quack Quack like that!” Kaeloo walks over to where the pieces of Quack Quack are lying on the ground to help him. Mr. Cat doesn’t respond, and Kaeloo turns to look at him. He’s still lying on the ground, not moving at all. Kaeloo starts panicking inwardly. Did she hurt him too badly? Mr. Cat slowly puts his arms on the ground and pushes himself into a kneeling position and Kaeloo is relieved, but her reassurance is short-lived; their eyes meet, and while his face conveys a range of emotions, the most prominent ones are fear, betrayal, and hurt.

Mr. Cat's eyes are pointed at Kaeloo, and he’s looking at her, but he’s not exactly seeing her. His mind is elsewhere. It has become clear to him that Kaeloo has made her choice, and that choice is not him. He almost wants to laugh at himself for thinking that she would ever choose someone as pathetic as him. Mr. Cat suddenly becomes aware of the horrified expression on Kaeloo’s face and is hit with a wave of guilt. She’s probably disgusted with his behavior and his actions. She’s probably disgusted with him in general. He averts his gaze to the ground so he doesn’t have to look at her, but her words are etched deeply into his mind.

_ You should be ashamed of yourself. _

Kaeloo meant these words in a fairly innocent way when she said them; however, Mr. Cat has heard those words from his family on a regular basis, even when he hasn’t done anything wrong, and has internalized it in the worst possible way.

Mr. Cat jumps to his feet, pulls a nearby rope, and makes a door to his room at home appear. It’s the safest way to get there without running into any of his tormentors on the way.

“Enjoy your game of hide and seek,” he mumbles as he grasps the handle, continuing to deliberately avoid eye contact with Kaeloo. Kaeloo calls out to him, begging him to wait, but he doesn’t hear her. The world around him is a blur. He dashes through the door and slams it as hard as he can. After the door behind him disappears, Mr. Cat plops down on his bed and starts laughing hysterically, as if the whole thing is a joke. The illusion only lasts for half a minute though, and he grabs his blue hedgehog plushie - the only friend he had before he met Kaeloo - and breaks down in tears, holding it close.

The door pops back into the ground before Kaeloo can get to it, so she has no way of following him. She has no idea where he summoned the door to, so she can’t make another shortcut to the same location.

“Quack?”

_ Is everything alright? _

“No,” Kaeloo answers straightforwardly. Everything is  _ not _ alright. She needs to talk to Mr. Cat.

“Would you mind if we came back some other time? I’m not in the mood to play anymore,” she says in a low voice.

“Quack.”

Kaeloo summons two doors, one to each of their houses, and says bye to Quack Quack. Once she’s inside her apartment, she picks up her phone and tries calling Mr. Cat. Mr. Cat sees his phone ringing, but he doesn’t pick up. Kaeloo is probably very angry at him, and the last thing he needs is to hear a tirade of verbal abuse from the only person who’s ever been nice to him. Besides, if he ignores her, she’ll start to ignore him, and they’ll grow apart. Kaeloo would be better off without him.

“Hello, you have reached Mr. Cat’s voicemail. You can hang up now. Beep.”

Kaeloo winces. That’s always been the message on his answering machine, but right now, it feels like a personal attack directed at her.

_ “You hurt me. You’re a bad friend. I don’t want to talk to you. Just hang up.” _

Suddenly, her big, empty apartment feels a lot more lonely than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We wrote this chapter after watching the essay writing episode from season four of the show, in which Mr. Cat listens to Kaeloo reading an essay she wrote on world peace and overthinks it to the point where he believes that it's a subtle declaration that Kaeloo hates him. We really liked the idea that Mr. Cat would be the kind of person to overthink the little details in fairly straightforward language, especially given the issues he has in this fic, so we decided to incorporate that into our story.


End file.
